


Meaning of Life

by DarkAlpha67



Series: Rewritten Stars [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Danny is a good husband, Danny's thoughts on Steve's graying hair, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marriage, Night-time thoughts, POV Danny "Danno" Williams, Parent Danny "Danno" Williams, Parent Steve McGarrett, Short & Sweet, Steve's past trauma -mentioned, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23477713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAlpha67/pseuds/DarkAlpha67
Summary: While in bed, unable to sleep, Danny thinks about his husband Steve and how unkind the years have been to him.*Basically my idea of why Steve started embracing his graying hair.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Series: Rewritten Stars [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1461763
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85





	Meaning of Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope you are all doing well, and hare keeping safe <3

Danny often found himself in wonder of his life. He was lucky, he knew that. To have what he had, to be safe and alive with amazing children who loved him, with a family who cared for him. He had lost so many people that he knew just how fortune he was to be laying here.

Here, naked save for a blanket that was wrapped around his waist while he rested on his side, blue eyes tracing the features of the man opposite him. His eyes moved slowly and careful from a stubble covered chin, dusted with grey hairs. Lips that were either always pressed together sternly or spread in his signature goofy smile was pliant, parted as he inhaled and exhaled. There was a cut on the bridge of his nose, a gift from some jackass that had resisted arrest. His dark eyelashes were brushing his cheeks, eyes shifting every now and then, seeing a world only Steve knew.

Danny could tell by the relaxed body that was ever he was seeing wasn’t something horrible. His body, exhausted from the day and their round of sweet, slow sex had taken a lot of Steve.

Even if he would never admit it.

Which was what brought Danny to the now, to him laying curled on the side, facing his eyes and looking at him with love and… relief.

The world hadn’t been kind to him. God, Danny had been there, by his side as a witness to the pain and agony that was inflicted upon his husband. From heartbreak, to abandonment, to torture, to death, to betrayal… the list went on and on and on, like some sick cosmic ‘to do list’ for Steve McGarrett.

And after every wound, Steve would stand back up.

He never faltered.

He never stumbled.

Not in front of those who thought highly of him, who viewed him as something other than a man damaged by the world he was trying so desperately to protect.

The years that had passed had added some new lines to Steve’s once fresh-faced appearance. His hair was still short and close cropped and though Danny teased him about it, he saw the change for what it was.

Before Steve would style his hair and then, when grays started appearing, he dyed it from brown to black. When his chin gave the game away, he stopped the dye job and after their time in quarantine, he started keeping his hair short.

It was Steve way of accepting the years that had passed. Time had never been on his time, and Danny knew Steve fought against it subconsciously.

Nahele had commented on his graying stubble once and Steve had ran a hand over his jaw and smiled at their son.

“Guess I am getting old.” He looked at Nahele then. “Still gonna be around to see you graduate though.”

“I know, _Makuakāne._ ”

And that was the simple reason behind Steve’s embracing of his age.

It was the fact that he was finally content with the path his life had taken.

Danny knew even if he never asked or brought it up, but he knew Steve’s stubborn refusal to accept his slowly visible age was because he feared leaving the world without having done all he’d wanted to do.

To have a family, to be married, to be a father.

He loved Grace as if she was his own long before she legally was, and the same went for Nahele and later Charlie, but being a father figure, being an uncle was not the same as being their father. There was a distance, a lack of connection and it took a toll on Steve. He saw it when they had to drop Grace off with Rachel in the early years of their partnership. He saw it when he couldn’t be there for Charlie like he wanted because he was just ‘Uncle Steve’ then.

Danny saw all this.

He’d wanted to change it so bad, because as Chin put it ‘you’re basically co-parents, brah’ on the one night when Danny had been talking (not complaining) about his lack of relationship with Steve and how he had to act when Steve did dumb and reckless and stupid shit and Danny was left to act accordingly, like a fear stricken spouse without the benefits of reminding Steve that if he… if he didn’t make, the people that loved him would miss him, that he had a partner who wouldn’t know what the fuck to do if he didn’t have Steve by his side. Sure, he’d survive, live life for his kids, but a part of him would be missing.

Today had been one of those fear-stricken days, where Steve had scaled a fucking building to get to a guy that was going to blow up a plane.

Danny hadn’t been there, he had taken the day off to help Charlie with a school concert that required all parents to pitch in, and the thought, the idea of not being there, not having Steve’s back if anything had gone wrong…

“Hey.” A deep voice grumbled through the air. An arm slipped out from under the covers and wrapped around his shoulders, curling around the back of his head so Steve could sink his fingers into his hair. “You’re breathing is irregular. What’s wrong?”

“Your breath stinks.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Steve countered without missing a beat.

Danny wanted to retort but his heart just wasn’t in it. His watched as Steve’s eyes tightened around the edges as he blinked hard before his eyes slowly fluttered open. Those beautiful blue-green eyes slowly revealed themselves, bright and alive and his heart practically sunk with relief.

He hadn’t known he’d been so tightly wound up by this thoughts until Steve’s met his gaze and his body relaxed into the mattress.

“You okay?” Fingers scratched his scalp.

Was Danny okay?

Yeah, he was.

There was nothing physically wrong with him.

Today had just been the… unexpectedly rough. And like every rough day, when night came the tension and the fear and the memories of past trauma reared it ugly head, making it damn near impossible to sleep peacefully.

“I’m okay, babe. Just thinking. Go back to sleep.” He whispered.

Steve of course ignored his advice. “No, tell me. What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” He said back. Before, he would have left it like that but since entering a relationship with Steve, Danny had learned the true meaning of “open communication”. And on their wedding day, they had vowed to share their burdens, to take the load of the other and share their load.

“I’m just thinking about today. It was a close call and… I’m just happy you’re here.”

Steve blinked at him and Danny hated the way the relaxed expression tightened as his mind slowly caught up to his body. Unable to help himself, Danny pushed his head up and leaned forward, pressing a close mouth kiss on Steve’s lips, holding the touch until he felt the tension seep out from Steve’s arm.

Drawing away with a final peck, he brushed the tip of his nose against Steve’s. Steve sighed though his nose and Danny knew Steve was accepting this words, exhaling all his defences to allow Danny’s words through.

“I would have been fine.” Steve said into the space between them.

“I know. I’m just…” He leaned back a bit and meet inquisitive eyes. “You’re happy right?”

Steve frowned, “What kind of – of course I’m happy, Danno.” He spoke the words like it was a confession and his soul depended on it.

Danny mentally cursed himself. “Sorry, I know you are, I’m just—My brain is a mess right now.” He swallowed and Steve fell silent beside him, waiting patiently for Danny to gather his thoughts. “Your happiness means the world to me, you know that, right?”

Steve’s expression remained calm, but Danny saw the tick in his jaw. Saw the way his eyes starting glimmering as a film of tears filled them, reddening as the seconds ticked by.

With a thick swallow, Steve nodded.

A weight he hadn’t known was there lifted off his chest. He lifted his own hand and cupped Steve’s cheek, feeling the rough hair prick his palm, his thumb stroking the skin gentle, smiling when Steve’s eyes fluttered close at the touch.

“Go back to sleep.” Danny instructed in a whisper.

'“You first.” Steve mumbled.

Shaking his head, Danny watched as Steve slowly fell back asleep, the fingers in his hair going limp, the arm getting heavier. Gently, he shifted Steve’s arm, so it was curled between them, and laced their fingers together.

With one final look, Danny closed his eyes and fell asleep.

*

The next day, Steve was ushering Nahele and Grace out, holding Charlie on his arm. Danny was closing up behind them but was stopped by a gentle “hey.”

He turned and his questioned was swallowed by a pair of lips. A hum left him, his lips moving to return the kiss for a second before Steve straightening up. Charlie seemed unbothered by the display, quiet and content in Steve’s arms because his kid was not a morning person when he had to be up for school and not a day of “fun and adventure”.

“And that?”

Steve grinned. “ _This_ makes me happy.” He whispered.

Danny smiled after Steve as he turned around and headed for the car.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Kelly Clarkson's Meaning of Life.


End file.
